What I usually thought of when slacking in class. My awesome photgraphy.
My skills were tested in high school, oh yes. Lots of busywork and not much interesting stuff going on. Luckily, I stumbled across some very bright students that carried me through classes. Today's the day I give thanks to everyone who helped me, and I'll run through my slacking resume while I'm at it.
Freshman Year: I actually did all of my work freshman year and had like a 3.5(those B's in PE killed me)...pffft!
So thanks only to myself. There was one incident where I did sell some of my work in science although the kid was spanish, didn't speak english, and never paid me. I even got an A in spanish.
Sophomore Year: Muuuch better slacking going on here if I recall correctly.
Spanish 2(the first go-around) - I had the evil witch, Mrs. Zamora, and failed terribly. Hermes, wherever he is these days, probably deserves some thanks.
Geometry - Trace Lanson, probably the root cause of my failure(second semester) considering we just sat there and talked about football. None the less, Trace, Babur(Bo-bar as I called him), and Dylan deserve some thanks, I never ever did any of my own homework in the class.
Biology Honors - Justin Karpf quite literally DRAGGED me through this class. A friendship was stricken up of perpetual debt of gratitude, I still owe Justin for all that work. I passed both semesters with C's, somehow. I recall every lunch going to see Justin and the gang(Randye, Russel, Bobby and Co) to copy Justin as he did his bio work last minute. Good times, good times.
Junior Year: Mega-Slacking took place here.
Spanish 2(second go-around)- Milutin and Rachael provided me with everything I needed to get B's in this class. Then I'd fail the exam and get a C for the semester. GRACIAS, SENORA SANCHEZ! <3
Algebra 2- Let's see, I had Austin Miller and Ashley Bray behind me, and then Sussman in front of me. Lot of help these people were, I would've been better off talking to a wall, my voice might echo and I'd hear something intelligent. I copied a lot of my work from Jill if I recall correctly. I did exert some effort occasionally because Ms. Albert was a very good teacher and I felt bad if I didn't try.
Newspaper- I was Slacker-in-Chief for the first semester and slept everyday, but after an argument about Bubba Franks going to the Jets, I was adopted by the sports department. None of this had anything to do with the quality of my work, but it should be noted.
Chemistry Honors- Not sure how I wheeled and dealed my way into this class but I did. Thank GOD Nyssa sat next to me and helped me stay awake through class. Mr. Lock was a stand up guy, and I think we came to an unwritten agreement when he was going over STP and noted that it did not stand for Stone Temple Pilots, but something else entirely. Only I laughed, and I always felt treated differently after that.
English 3: Mrs. Donney!!!! I slacked but it was english so I got the job done.
Senior Year: The year I was crowned King Slacker, I'll just run down the list of classes.
English 4 Honors: I did not enjoy walking into class at 7:30 every other morning to the sound of Mrs. Jaffe, however, my slacking was paled in comparison to that of Alberto and Sebastian, who slept everyday. Crazy spanish kids! I did do a fair amount of slacking though, that included not doing any of the 'essays' that were in fact not essays at all but powerpoint presentations. I'd rather write 1,200 words than 12 slides, but that's just me.
AP Bluhm(AKA AP European History) - This was a grand ol' class to be in. Only the brightest minds made it into Bluhms lecture hall, and we all loved it. I didn't have to slack often because I enjoyed the class but there are some notable moments, such as: Turning in those 200 or so flash cards 2 weeks late(which were half my exam grade and I still only turned in about 180, which didn't help at all, but I did stellar on the actual test to get a C on the entire exam), pretty much completely skipping the chapter 24 take home test, and of course, being the only person to miss more than 10 days so I had to take the exam second semester, which I got a C on.
AP Gov't - I slacked A LOT(those notebooks were dreadful) in this class but never got below a 93 on a test. Mr. Jacques was epic. And I also led the male review game team to numerous victories, so thanks to Justin Karpf, Adam Steinjew, Iain Forgey, and most especially, for getting those completely random questions that none of us knew, Matt Harmon. TJ was there but little help in terms of anything but moral encouragement. Jean Paul makes the girls all warm and fuzzy.
Econ Hon - Once again, stellar tests, but notebooks killed me. Mr. Skelton and I had a severe love/hate relationship, brought together to our undying love of Pearl Jam and free market economics(I would write my opinions on all my work after completing half of it, and he would reply when he graded it), yet torn apart by my slacking and his busywork assignments. Thanks to Matt, Iain, BJ, Adam, and TJ for the good times.
Student Aid- I owe the one and only Mr. Lucas all the credit for giving me very little to do and lots to think about. I'm undoubtedly the biggest slacker of an aid he's ever had, or will have.
Newspaper- Jon Rukes and Corey Levine are clearly to blame for all problems the newspaper had.
Physics- Jesus, I could write a book about my slacking in physics. It's in physics where I first set my high score in Cube Runner and Scribattle, and conquered all the realms in Reign of Swords(Which I had aptly named 'Physics', and would shout out in class "Time to do some physics" whenever I wanted to play). I also drew lots of funny pictures in my Tome of Penis(but that's another blog), and continued to pull goofy pranks on Dave while he often slept. Making fun of Dave was a staple in the class. The female entertainment to an otherwise dick fest was provided by Jill, Fish, and Tino. There was a teacher in the classroom, Mrs. Wiant, but we never really learned anything involving physics. I did learn to sleep, and how to best make fun of short people.
Trigonometry - Mrs. Albert once again did her very best to get me to succeed, and she got one decent semester out of me. Second semester, knowing I had enough math credits to graduate, I took it upon myself to take Senior Privilege, and therefore completely and utterly failed the class. I showed up for one day 4th quarter in which there was a party and bingo. I won bingo. I must give thanks to Milutin though for once again carrying me through that first semester with his sporadic homework.
The feats I've gone over here are great in the slacking world, but the true greatness is in my attendance. The policy in Palm Beach County is if you are absent for more than ten periods, you have to pass your exam and one quarter to get credit. I pretty much had to pass every exam I ever took. My attendance sophomore year was probably worst, I must have missed like 30 days of class. As I mentioned I skipped pretty much the entire second semester of math my senior year, and my attendance in most other classes was well over the allowed 10. I remember the guidance counselor I met the summer before my freshman year gasped at my middle school attendance(which was completely pitiful) and told me that if I pulled something like that in high school, my parents would get in trouble, and I'd never graduate. I went about it like I had something to prove, and I'd be willing to bet I had the highest GPA among people in my attendance bracket, mostly because people with my attendance usually dropped out. Not me though, I stumbled along with the help of caring friends and teachers to graduate right on time and slightly above the minimum requirements.
College Admissions Committee's across the country were not as amused with my stellar slacking record as I was, and I was promptly denied from every major university I applied to.
But that's why God invented community college.
So with an SAT score 400 points above the minimum requirements, I trudge on to Palm Beach Community College, head held high, determined to do better than my father, who is just beginning his return to college after dropping out two years into his stay at the University of Kansas, some 30 odd years ago. With his stay at PBCC almost done(lolololol), he plans to move onto FAU. He made the Presidents list(not even knowing who the president of PBCC is), and so shall I.
So, for a brief period in my life, slacking shall have to cease, in order to be the second most educated person in my family, with Creighton being an overachiever and going off to study law at UMKC. The undertaking will be long and arduous, but I shall persevere. Slacking harder than ever! Because, like a true slacker, I have a general idea of what I'm good at and what I'm not, and I have no way of applying my talents in order to become a productive member of society.
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