Lately, as some of my readers so bluntly pointed out, I haven't written much. Well it's been due to a lack of inspiration. I've been quite busy and nothing has really tickled my fancy. However, I have found inspiration in a most unlikely place!
The past few days my streak of nerdness has completely skyrocketed. I began by trying to write about that, but I felt it just wasn't interesting enough to post, so I scrapped it. However I didn't scrap the nerdness. That has continued. Between my struggles and triumphs in trying to install WoW on my computer for the past week, and my recent spending binge on Magic cards, I've realized I've really been slacking in the male awesomeness department, and I find myself not caring. Sure I browse Packers.com every once in awhile to check on the rookies and I have ESPN on when I'm bored, but I already know Aaron Rodgers will lead us to another solid season and Brett Favre is retired. What I didn't realize is that I'm so ashamed of my inner nerd, which surprised me.
I've been collecting trading cards and playing video games since I can remember, but I've always kept a foot in the other door, always keeping up with sports. The tide has ebbed and flowed. I've spent summers building giant lego star wars and I've spent summers on soccer and lacrosse fields. Saturdays online playing StarCraft, Sundays playing golf or chilling in a bar watching football(or both if you dip after your front 9). In short, I was never fully committed to one or the other, sports because I didn't try hard enough, and being a nerd because it's not cool.
But today I realized why I've always loved being a nerd. It came in the form of a friendly smile from the girl who works at the local comic book store. I walked in there this afternoon to purchase more of the new core set, and there was about 7-8 grown men chilling in the back talking about random things(I think it was michelle obama when I walked in). I picked out my packs(which I've yet to open, due to inspired-ness) and as I was paying for them, I asked her what the occasion was. "Oh, them? Just Wednesday."
A bunch of 30 something aged dudes were chilling in a comic book store shootin' the shit because it was Wednesday. You can't find a group of friendlier people than that. I thanked the girl, waved goodbye to the hippie wife of one of the dudes and walked out smiling. You won't find happiness like that in a bar watching football, or on a golf course hacking away with your 9-iron. Nope, a simple wide grin like that can only be accomplished by walking out of a loud and full game shop with a fresh set of cards.
If anyone from Lost Realms happens to read this, I deserve some free stuff.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Due to Excessive Boredom: Some Zingers from Mayo.
Have some jokes that I decided to spend my time thinking of.
-Everything else sucks there, but I'd bet it'd be pretty sweet to own a range rover dealership in africa, apparently that's all they can drive.
-Horsefront riding isn't illegal in mexico.
-Nowadays in government we have Czars, which kinda made me wonder two things, when the people who are Czars these days were kids, were they like "When I grow up, I don't want to be secretary of such and such, or president of whatever, I want to be a fucking Czar!" And secondly, what were the other titles they were toying around with before they decided on Czar. I mean, Czar is the Russian word for Ceasar(yes, THAT Ceasar) which they used to designate a ruling monarch. Surely Emperor was on the list. Ayatollah? Jedi Master? I definitely think government would run a lot more efficiently if we had a Jedi Master of the Car Industry running the show.
-If there was proof that the government is secretly cloning people, it would be Samuel L. Jackson. He's everywhere.
-I want to make a DVD that's just full of background noise. Young couples could just pop it in and they wouldn't have to waste money on renting movies.
-People out west always talk about drinking moon shine, which kinda sounds like a pussy drink when you break it down. Maybe once they invent sun glow...
-Some people say the government needs to begin taking steps to colonize the moon and mars. I think we should just give the rights to MTV and VH1 to shoot reality tv shows up there. No one could sit here and convince me they wouldn't watch that.
-Florida's public education is funded by deals from indian casino's and lottery tickets. What exactly are we trying to teach these kids?
-The other day the Pope broke his wrist...shit has really gone downhill for the vatican since having sex with little boys was banned.
-The saying goes give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day, teach a man to fish, you've fed him for life. It's good they say man, because if you give a boy a fish, you've fed him for a day, teach a boy to fish, and you've convinced him to sit at a lake for the next four saturdays until he gives up.
-I kinda feel bad for walls sometimes, they've really had quite a fall from grace...they were the most effective way for keeping stuff in or out since the beginning of mankind, but nowadays they just seems to break a lot. You know something REALLY bad is about to happen next when a wall breaks down. Millions of gallons of water? Mongolian hordes? Sheep? If you ask me we're way past due for another breakthrough in wall technology. I'm talking like...forcefields.
-I have a bad habit of lowering my standards of things after awhile. Like, when I first got my car, it was a 2000 Honda Accord. Now it's more of a 2000 Honda Garbage Can. It still drives and stuff, it's just more accurately described as a garbage can.
-I always used to think I was special because I can listen to music, read, and sing at the same time. Then they invented the audiobook...
-If I could wish the whole world to be rid of one thing, I would wish it to be rid of hangnails, God definitely fucked up on the whole hangnails thing.
-I've always been proud of my irish decent. When you say irish, people think alcohol. It's pretty much the only nationality of people that are associated with just one thing. We have the monopoly on alcohol. Germans have Nazis and funny words. Russia has communism and snow. Australia has various furry critters and boomerangs. America has everything. Ireland? Just alcohol, thank you very much.
-I really think they should make a monopoly only with countries. The pieces could be the symbols for different corporations, and you just go around buying up the globe. Whatever countries the dark purple spaces would be will definitely be the laughing stock of the next UN summit. Nicaragua and Luxemborg! What're you laughing at Denmark? You got the electric company spot!
-I once got my hands on this bottle of Vodka, and it said at the top 'Traveller Pack'. It was very comfortable in my hand, but if they're going to commit to this portability angle, they should really get with the times go with cup holder friendly bottles.
-There's probably a reason I'm not in charge of things, and that reason would be my complete support of a federally funded program to make AT-AT walkers.
-They say humans only use 10% of our brains, which got me wondering, what other body parts are not running to their full capacity? Can my arms stretch if I can use 65% or more? Maybe bigfoot is just a guy who is running around using 100% of his body hair.
-I see a lot of soldiers wearing Livestrong bracelets and stuff, so that market is already covered, but I'd be a millionaire if I could just convince the up and coming generation of jihadists to wear Diestrong bracelets.
That's all I'm putting forth this evening, I hope one of these made you giggle, even if just a little.
-Everything else sucks there, but I'd bet it'd be pretty sweet to own a range rover dealership in africa, apparently that's all they can drive.
-Horsefront riding isn't illegal in mexico.
-Nowadays in government we have Czars, which kinda made me wonder two things, when the people who are Czars these days were kids, were they like "When I grow up, I don't want to be secretary of such and such, or president of whatever, I want to be a fucking Czar!" And secondly, what were the other titles they were toying around with before they decided on Czar. I mean, Czar is the Russian word for Ceasar(yes, THAT Ceasar) which they used to designate a ruling monarch. Surely Emperor was on the list. Ayatollah? Jedi Master? I definitely think government would run a lot more efficiently if we had a Jedi Master of the Car Industry running the show.
-If there was proof that the government is secretly cloning people, it would be Samuel L. Jackson. He's everywhere.
-I want to make a DVD that's just full of background noise. Young couples could just pop it in and they wouldn't have to waste money on renting movies.
-People out west always talk about drinking moon shine, which kinda sounds like a pussy drink when you break it down. Maybe once they invent sun glow...
-Some people say the government needs to begin taking steps to colonize the moon and mars. I think we should just give the rights to MTV and VH1 to shoot reality tv shows up there. No one could sit here and convince me they wouldn't watch that.
-Florida's public education is funded by deals from indian casino's and lottery tickets. What exactly are we trying to teach these kids?
-The other day the Pope broke his wrist...shit has really gone downhill for the vatican since having sex with little boys was banned.
-The saying goes give a man a fish, you've fed him for a day, teach a man to fish, you've fed him for life. It's good they say man, because if you give a boy a fish, you've fed him for a day, teach a boy to fish, and you've convinced him to sit at a lake for the next four saturdays until he gives up.
-I kinda feel bad for walls sometimes, they've really had quite a fall from grace...they were the most effective way for keeping stuff in or out since the beginning of mankind, but nowadays they just seems to break a lot. You know something REALLY bad is about to happen next when a wall breaks down. Millions of gallons of water? Mongolian hordes? Sheep? If you ask me we're way past due for another breakthrough in wall technology. I'm talking like...forcefields.
-I have a bad habit of lowering my standards of things after awhile. Like, when I first got my car, it was a 2000 Honda Accord. Now it's more of a 2000 Honda Garbage Can. It still drives and stuff, it's just more accurately described as a garbage can.
-I always used to think I was special because I can listen to music, read, and sing at the same time. Then they invented the audiobook...
-If I could wish the whole world to be rid of one thing, I would wish it to be rid of hangnails, God definitely fucked up on the whole hangnails thing.
-I've always been proud of my irish decent. When you say irish, people think alcohol. It's pretty much the only nationality of people that are associated with just one thing. We have the monopoly on alcohol. Germans have Nazis and funny words. Russia has communism and snow. Australia has various furry critters and boomerangs. America has everything. Ireland? Just alcohol, thank you very much.
-I really think they should make a monopoly only with countries. The pieces could be the symbols for different corporations, and you just go around buying up the globe. Whatever countries the dark purple spaces would be will definitely be the laughing stock of the next UN summit. Nicaragua and Luxemborg! What're you laughing at Denmark? You got the electric company spot!
-I once got my hands on this bottle of Vodka, and it said at the top 'Traveller Pack'. It was very comfortable in my hand, but if they're going to commit to this portability angle, they should really get with the times go with cup holder friendly bottles.
-There's probably a reason I'm not in charge of things, and that reason would be my complete support of a federally funded program to make AT-AT walkers.
-They say humans only use 10% of our brains, which got me wondering, what other body parts are not running to their full capacity? Can my arms stretch if I can use 65% or more? Maybe bigfoot is just a guy who is running around using 100% of his body hair.
-I see a lot of soldiers wearing Livestrong bracelets and stuff, so that market is already covered, but I'd be a millionaire if I could just convince the up and coming generation of jihadists to wear Diestrong bracelets.
That's all I'm putting forth this evening, I hope one of these made you giggle, even if just a little.
Friday, July 17, 2009
/Cave: The trials and tribulations of a recovering WoW addict.
Lately I've been suffering from a particularly severe set of withdrawals from World of Warcraft. For those of you who live under rocks, it's the most addicting drug video game since Black Tar Heroin...Pong. Anywho, I've been keeping the urges at bay by reasoning that my laptop has a HUGE crack on the right side of it so even if I installed it I wouldn't be able to play. However, as they say, 'Mayo is a resourceful beast' and I'm positive that I could minimize the game and play on the top left side of my screen. Not helping the matter AT ALL is my father, who said that his computer(which has WoW installed on it) is starting to slow down and he's pondering getting a new one. Which would leave me a very nice desktop with an HD screen and an already installed WoW ripe for the playing. I'm beginning to have a serious problem...
Usually when I'm hit with the urge, I play a similar, yet non-life destroying game. Champions of Norrath, the console games from the famous Everquest series, provide the mind numbing hours of game play, but a conclusion to the game which then loops. Usually I can play a loop or two and have all the raiding out of my system, however, my PS3 has decided to stop playing anything but Blu-Ray discs, which makes me wonder if it's mad at me for still watching DVD's on it.
With Norrath not working, I whipped out CoD4, my old nemesis, to start up again. I'd forgotten that all my memory was deleted in my attempts to get Norrath to work and had to start over from scratch. Unfortunately for me, my gamer tag is FlamboyantHomo, and I'm starting with the piss poor guns and trinkets which means I'm not exactly going to carry the team as usual(and therefore inspire the leadership neccessary to convince people I'm a better asset to their ego alive), and people(particularly my teammates) tend to giggle when they shoot gay people(or in my case, percievably gay people). Too ashamed to put on my headset to yell at them, I was at the mercy of assholes(a shoutout to those limey bastards from the GB!) who continued to enforce the Don't Ask/Get Shot in the Head policy of CoD4. Perhaps they were pissed off that murdering gay people is now a hate crime in america(Thanks to Obama, all minorities are now hated equally, people who murder others are just going to have to plead insanity now), or perhaps people in britain just dislike gay people.
Regardless, there are other alternatives I've tried. I bought WoW books, which I thought might supply my addiction with a slow steady stream of WoW to satiate my needs, like a nicorete patch. It did no such thing. I even signed up for a couple online poker tournaments. But nothing worked. Nothing stimulated my mind.
So, with CoD4, Norrath, my WoW book, and gambling out of the question, I could only turn to my faithful blog for help, and it's provided none whatsoever. I believe this time, with community college a safe month away, I might just give in.
I really should consider picking up smoking or something, at least then I'll look cool while slowly throwing my life away.
/cave
Usually when I'm hit with the urge, I play a similar, yet non-life destroying game. Champions of Norrath, the console games from the famous Everquest series, provide the mind numbing hours of game play, but a conclusion to the game which then loops. Usually I can play a loop or two and have all the raiding out of my system, however, my PS3 has decided to stop playing anything but Blu-Ray discs, which makes me wonder if it's mad at me for still watching DVD's on it.
With Norrath not working, I whipped out CoD4, my old nemesis, to start up again. I'd forgotten that all my memory was deleted in my attempts to get Norrath to work and had to start over from scratch. Unfortunately for me, my gamer tag is FlamboyantHomo, and I'm starting with the piss poor guns and trinkets which means I'm not exactly going to carry the team as usual(and therefore inspire the leadership neccessary to convince people I'm a better asset to their ego alive), and people(particularly my teammates) tend to giggle when they shoot gay people(or in my case, percievably gay people). Too ashamed to put on my headset to yell at them, I was at the mercy of assholes(a shoutout to those limey bastards from the GB!) who continued to enforce the Don't Ask/Get Shot in the Head policy of CoD4. Perhaps they were pissed off that murdering gay people is now a hate crime in america(Thanks to Obama, all minorities are now hated equally, people who murder others are just going to have to plead insanity now), or perhaps people in britain just dislike gay people.
Regardless, there are other alternatives I've tried. I bought WoW books, which I thought might supply my addiction with a slow steady stream of WoW to satiate my needs, like a nicorete patch. It did no such thing. I even signed up for a couple online poker tournaments. But nothing worked. Nothing stimulated my mind.
So, with CoD4, Norrath, my WoW book, and gambling out of the question, I could only turn to my faithful blog for help, and it's provided none whatsoever. I believe this time, with community college a safe month away, I might just give in.
I really should consider picking up smoking or something, at least then I'll look cool while slowly throwing my life away.
/cave
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The Legendary Slacking of Zachary A. Mayo
Ah, slacking, another one of the few things I'm spectacular at. I've spent an entire life getting out of work and, much to the chagrin of everyone that ever cared about me, I've done a very good job. The need to slack is deep rooted inside my head, and I've never been able to place it on just one reason. Perhaps because I think I'm smarter than everyone else(you can stop laughing now), or maybe because I've struggled with motivation my whole life, I've always slacked.
What I usually thought of when slacking in class. My awesome photgraphy.
My skills were tested in high school, oh yes. Lots of busywork and not much interesting stuff going on. Luckily, I stumbled across some very bright students that carried me through classes. Today's the day I give thanks to everyone who helped me, and I'll run through my slacking resume while I'm at it.
Freshman Year: I actually did all of my work freshman year and had like a 3.5(those B's in PE killed me)...pffft!
So thanks only to myself. There was one incident where I did sell some of my work in science although the kid was spanish, didn't speak english, and never paid me. I even got an A in spanish.
Sophomore Year: Muuuch better slacking going on here if I recall correctly.
Spanish 2(the first go-around) - I had the evil witch, Mrs. Zamora, and failed terribly. Hermes, wherever he is these days, probably deserves some thanks.
Geometry - Trace Lanson, probably the root cause of my failure(second semester) considering we just sat there and talked about football. None the less, Trace, Babur(Bo-bar as I called him), and Dylan deserve some thanks, I never ever did any of my own homework in the class.
Biology Honors - Justin Karpf quite literally DRAGGED me through this class. A friendship was stricken up of perpetual debt of gratitude, I still owe Justin for all that work. I passed both semesters with C's, somehow. I recall every lunch going to see Justin and the gang(Randye, Russel, Bobby and Co) to copy Justin as he did his bio work last minute. Good times, good times.
Junior Year: Mega-Slacking took place here.
Spanish 2(second go-around)- Milutin and Rachael provided me with everything I needed to get B's in this class. Then I'd fail the exam and get a C for the semester. GRACIAS, SENORA SANCHEZ! <3
Algebra 2- Let's see, I had Austin Miller and Ashley Bray behind me, and then Sussman in front of me. Lot of help these people were, I would've been better off talking to a wall, my voice might echo and I'd hear something intelligent. I copied a lot of my work from Jill if I recall correctly. I did exert some effort occasionally because Ms. Albert was a very good teacher and I felt bad if I didn't try.
Newspaper- I was Slacker-in-Chief for the first semester and slept everyday, but after an argument about Bubba Franks going to the Jets, I was adopted by the sports department. None of this had anything to do with the quality of my work, but it should be noted.
Chemistry Honors- Not sure how I wheeled and dealed my way into this class but I did. Thank GOD Nyssa sat next to me and helped me stay awake through class. Mr. Lock was a stand up guy, and I think we came to an unwritten agreement when he was going over STP and noted that it did not stand for Stone Temple Pilots, but something else entirely. Only I laughed, and I always felt treated differently after that.
English 3: Mrs. Donney!!!! I slacked but it was english so I got the job done.
Senior Year: The year I was crowned King Slacker, I'll just run down the list of classes.
English 4 Honors: I did not enjoy walking into class at 7:30 every other morning to the sound of Mrs. Jaffe, however, my slacking was paled in comparison to that of Alberto and Sebastian, who slept everyday. Crazy spanish kids! I did do a fair amount of slacking though, that included not doing any of the 'essays' that were in fact not essays at all but powerpoint presentations. I'd rather write 1,200 words than 12 slides, but that's just me.
AP Bluhm(AKA AP European History) - This was a grand ol' class to be in. Only the brightest minds made it into Bluhms lecture hall, and we all loved it. I didn't have to slack often because I enjoyed the class but there are some notable moments, such as: Turning in those 200 or so flash cards 2 weeks late(which were half my exam grade and I still only turned in about 180, which didn't help at all, but I did stellar on the actual test to get a C on the entire exam), pretty much completely skipping the chapter 24 take home test, and of course, being the only person to miss more than 10 days so I had to take the exam second semester, which I got a C on.
AP Gov't - I slacked A LOT(those notebooks were dreadful) in this class but never got below a 93 on a test. Mr. Jacques was epic. And I also led the male review game team to numerous victories, so thanks to Justin Karpf, Adam Steinjew, Iain Forgey, and most especially, for getting those completely random questions that none of us knew, Matt Harmon. TJ was there but little help in terms of anything but moral encouragement. Jean Paul makes the girls all warm and fuzzy.
Econ Hon - Once again, stellar tests, but notebooks killed me. Mr. Skelton and I had a severe love/hate relationship, brought together to our undying love of Pearl Jam and free market economics(I would write my opinions on all my work after completing half of it, and he would reply when he graded it), yet torn apart by my slacking and his busywork assignments. Thanks to Matt, Iain, BJ, Adam, and TJ for the good times.
Student Aid- I owe the one and only Mr. Lucas all the credit for giving me very little to do and lots to think about. I'm undoubtedly the biggest slacker of an aid he's ever had, or will have.
Newspaper- Jon Rukes and Corey Levine are clearly to blame for all problems the newspaper had.
Physics- Jesus, I could write a book about my slacking in physics. It's in physics where I first set my high score in Cube Runner and Scribattle, and conquered all the realms in Reign of Swords(Which I had aptly named 'Physics', and would shout out in class "Time to do some physics" whenever I wanted to play). I also drew lots of funny pictures in my Tome of Penis(but that's another blog), and continued to pull goofy pranks on Dave while he often slept. Making fun of Dave was a staple in the class. The female entertainment to an otherwise dick fest was provided by Jill, Fish, and Tino. There was a teacher in the classroom, Mrs. Wiant, but we never really learned anything involving physics. I did learn to sleep, and how to best make fun of short people.
Trigonometry - Mrs. Albert once again did her very best to get me to succeed, and she got one decent semester out of me. Second semester, knowing I had enough math credits to graduate, I took it upon myself to take Senior Privilege, and therefore completely and utterly failed the class. I showed up for one day 4th quarter in which there was a party and bingo. I won bingo. I must give thanks to Milutin though for once again carrying me through that first semester with his sporadic homework.
The feats I've gone over here are great in the slacking world, but the true greatness is in my attendance. The policy in Palm Beach County is if you are absent for more than ten periods, you have to pass your exam and one quarter to get credit. I pretty much had to pass every exam I ever took. My attendance sophomore year was probably worst, I must have missed like 30 days of class. As I mentioned I skipped pretty much the entire second semester of math my senior year, and my attendance in most other classes was well over the allowed 10. I remember the guidance counselor I met the summer before my freshman year gasped at my middle school attendance(which was completely pitiful) and told me that if I pulled something like that in high school, my parents would get in trouble, and I'd never graduate. I went about it like I had something to prove, and I'd be willing to bet I had the highest GPA among people in my attendance bracket, mostly because people with my attendance usually dropped out. Not me though, I stumbled along with the help of caring friends and teachers to graduate right on time and slightly above the minimum requirements.
College Admissions Committee's across the country were not as amused with my stellar slacking record as I was, and I was promptly denied from every major university I applied to.
But that's why God invented community college.
So with an SAT score 400 points above the minimum requirements, I trudge on to Palm Beach Community College, head held high, determined to do better than my father, who is just beginning his return to college after dropping out two years into his stay at the University of Kansas, some 30 odd years ago. With his stay at PBCC almost done(lolololol), he plans to move onto FAU. He made the Presidents list(not even knowing who the president of PBCC is), and so shall I.
So, for a brief period in my life, slacking shall have to cease, in order to be the second most educated person in my family, with Creighton being an overachiever and going off to study law at UMKC. The undertaking will be long and arduous, but I shall persevere. Slacking harder than ever! Because, like a true slacker, I have a general idea of what I'm good at and what I'm not, and I have no way of applying my talents in order to become a productive member of society.
Monday, July 6, 2009
A Brief Statement(I see a recurring theme here) on Flag Burning and Hate Crimes
I'm going for the double stample today by covering not one but two absurd issues in America. Flag Burning, because America's birthday was the other day, and Hate Crime because those silly gays are trying to get sexual orientation added to the list of minorities that can be subjected to hate crimes.
Let's start with the hate crimes because that's what I'm all riled up about to begin with. New legislation has been passed in the House of Representatives with the support of Obama would drastically increase the power and coverage of hate crime laws. I think it's all fine and dandy that the gay community wants to be included with every other minority group(although I can't imagine why), but there are a few things to consider about hate crimes themselves. In the proposed plan, the federal government prosecutes hate crimes, not state level courts. So if federal prosecutors aren't pleased with an acquittal, they can bring up the same charges in a federal court, and for some reason beyond my realm of thought, the supreme court has ruled this isn't a violation of the constitutional ban on double jeopardy.
The bill summary says it...
"Amends the federal criminal code to prohibit willfully causing bodily injury to any person because of the actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability of such person."
The comical value begins right about...here
So let's say I raped a girl. Apparently it's not enough to be charged with raping a girl, but I could also be charged with raping a girl because of her gender. Or if I stole the purse of a blind woman. Not only charged for the pilfering, but also because I targeted that woman because she was disabled. Now, I'd never do anything like that but this is a little ridiculous. We have laws in place to prevent people from raping anything(even really good looking animals) or stealing from anyone, and we also have laws that say I can hate black people all I want, and that I can be of the opinion that women are inferior all I want, as long as I don't hurt anybody. If I do hurt someone, then I should be punished for what I did, not my reasoning for doing it(imagine if people got out of robbery charges because they were poor[Five bucks Sotomayor will be the first to allow that to happen], or if rich white men got out of tax evasion because they were rich white men). Hate crime laws are a strike against our first amendment rights to express ourselves. Which brings me to the slightly more comical...
Flag burning!
I think it's a great thing that I could go out onto my front lawn and burn an american flag, don't you? People all around the world burn our flag everyday, probably not even knowing that they'd be allowed to do that here. There's been debate, mostly by conservatives and people who pander to the blind patriotism of americans, that there should be a constitutional amendment banning the burning of the Stars and Stripes. Besides the obvious restriction on my first amendment right to express myself, flag burning in the US would probably only increase if we made it illegal. Americans love breaking the law, we do it all the time. But lets say they did ban burning our flag, what's next? Burning the Confederate Stars and Bars? State flags can't be burnt? What if we sew all the state flags into one banner and then lit that baby up, is that next? The point is, once you give the government some power, they will always ask for more. First it's flag burning, then it's self immolation(how will we protest the upcoming second korean war?), and then god knows what after that. And besides, as the dirty socialist Norman Thomas once said "If you want a symbolic gesture, don't burn the flag, wash it."
Let's start with the hate crimes because that's what I'm all riled up about to begin with. New legislation has been passed in the House of Representatives with the support of Obama would drastically increase the power and coverage of hate crime laws. I think it's all fine and dandy that the gay community wants to be included with every other minority group(although I can't imagine why), but there are a few things to consider about hate crimes themselves. In the proposed plan, the federal government prosecutes hate crimes, not state level courts. So if federal prosecutors aren't pleased with an acquittal, they can bring up the same charges in a federal court, and for some reason beyond my realm of thought, the supreme court has ruled this isn't a violation of the constitutional ban on double jeopardy.
The bill summary says it...
"Amends the federal criminal code to prohibit willfully causing bodily injury to any person because of the actual or perceived race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability of such person."
The comical value begins right about...here
So let's say I raped a girl. Apparently it's not enough to be charged with raping a girl, but I could also be charged with raping a girl because of her gender. Or if I stole the purse of a blind woman. Not only charged for the pilfering, but also because I targeted that woman because she was disabled. Now, I'd never do anything like that but this is a little ridiculous. We have laws in place to prevent people from raping anything(even really good looking animals) or stealing from anyone, and we also have laws that say I can hate black people all I want, and that I can be of the opinion that women are inferior all I want, as long as I don't hurt anybody. If I do hurt someone, then I should be punished for what I did, not my reasoning for doing it(imagine if people got out of robbery charges because they were poor[Five bucks Sotomayor will be the first to allow that to happen], or if rich white men got out of tax evasion because they were rich white men). Hate crime laws are a strike against our first amendment rights to express ourselves. Which brings me to the slightly more comical...
Flag burning!
I think it's a great thing that I could go out onto my front lawn and burn an american flag, don't you? People all around the world burn our flag everyday, probably not even knowing that they'd be allowed to do that here. There's been debate, mostly by conservatives and people who pander to the blind patriotism of americans, that there should be a constitutional amendment banning the burning of the Stars and Stripes. Besides the obvious restriction on my first amendment right to express myself, flag burning in the US would probably only increase if we made it illegal. Americans love breaking the law, we do it all the time. But lets say they did ban burning our flag, what's next? Burning the Confederate Stars and Bars? State flags can't be burnt? What if we sew all the state flags into one banner and then lit that baby up, is that next? The point is, once you give the government some power, they will always ask for more. First it's flag burning, then it's self immolation(how will we protest the upcoming second korean war?), and then god knows what after that. And besides, as the dirty socialist Norman Thomas once said "If you want a symbolic gesture, don't burn the flag, wash it."
Sunday, July 5, 2009
A Brief Statement on My Stupidity...
I'm not sure who convinced me that sharing my ideas and opinions was a good idea, but they probably won't admit to it if asked. A few teachers, a few parents, and a bunch of friends that laugh at about 75% of the time I open my mouth, and here we are. After a brief and colored two year stint at my highschool paper, I graduated somehow and quickly ran out of places to convince people that I'm right about everything, so I proceeded to start shoving it down their throats by posting notes on facebook. Between sporadic rants about video games, politics, and my own general stupidity, everyone is sure to enjoy what I have to say...Or hate it and think I'm completely wrong and immature. I especially enjoy those people reading what I have to say.
Now I'm breaking out of my shell, and putting my ideas and opinions in front of the world, so that the twelve people who read my stuff on facebook can pity me and read it on here. Armed only with a laptop with a giant web of cracks on the right side of the screen, some sketchy wireless internet, and a few encouraging friends that are probably just humoring my ego, I embark into the world of Blogging.
Thank you and excuse the terrible name of this Blog, it was Kris' idea and I knew I'd enjoy saying "I need to update The Jar today!"
-Mayo
Now I'm breaking out of my shell, and putting my ideas and opinions in front of the world, so that the twelve people who read my stuff on facebook can pity me and read it on here. Armed only with a laptop with a giant web of cracks on the right side of the screen, some sketchy wireless internet, and a few encouraging friends that are probably just humoring my ego, I embark into the world of Blogging.
Thank you and excuse the terrible name of this Blog, it was Kris' idea and I knew I'd enjoy saying "I need to update The Jar today!"
-Mayo
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