A letter to Obama

Dear Mr. President,
I may be an outstanding critic of your policies, but I would like to bring only one important issue facing all Americans to your attention. You see, MGM studio has indefinitely suspended the 3rd Daniel Craig James Bond film due to a lack of capital and crippling debt. As you may or may not know, I have a tremendous man crush on Daniel Craig. He's amazing. Did you see Quantum of Solace Mr. President? He was totally badass.
Now, if you're willing to trample over the US Constitution to save terribly run corporations like Chrysler and GM, I think you have a duty to the taxpayers to give taxpayer money to MGM. You gave GM almost 50 billion dollars, 6.7 billion of that in cash at 7% interest. GM then took the 13 billion dollars you gave them in "working capital" and used that to pay off the 6.7 billion dollar cash loan. Then GM ran a bunch of advertisements saying they paid off their loan, when actuality, they only paid off $6.7 billion of their government loan with $13 billion of government money. Not only that, but they applied for $10 billion dollars in loans from the Department of Energy to meet new CAFE standards for their plants at 5% interest. All they did was switch from a 7% interest loan to a 5% interest loan! (Thanks to Reason Magazine for this information)
So, Mr. President, if you're willing to give billions to GM and Chrysler, I'd like to see a mere $3.7 billion dollars of taxpayer money go to MGM so they can pay off their debt and make a new Bond movie. Everyone loves Bond movies! Bond movies are the highest grossing film series of all time, and the two Daniel Craig films have made over $600 million each. Imagine if the 23rd film on the 50th anniversary of the series, came out all thanks to you Mr. President. The everyday hardworking lower-middle class taxpayer would love you even more! Unless the movie was bad. So if you do bailout MGM to make a new a Bond movie, you can chill on the set and yell action and stuff, but please don't let any figure of government make any changes to the movie!

Sincerely Yours,
Zachary Albian Mayo
Boca Raton, Florida

(P.S. I'll vote democrat for the rest of my life if you do this.)

Wtf Democracy!?!

Yesterday was the special election for the Florida District 19 seat in Congress. It was also my first chance to vote. I was pretty god damned excited to vote, because I missed the presidential election in 08 by just a few months which made me cry because I'm more politically aware than most congressmen in this country. That's outlandish...

Anyways, I awoke Tuesday to my alarm telling me to go to class. I promptly decided to skip Astronomy and drive west to go vote. I stopped by my moms, picked her up, and we were off to Waters Edge Elementary(I went to kindergarden there!). We walked in and there were some pollworkers just sitting around and I quickly said a prayer to jesus that these people weren't paid from my tax dollars. I signed a thingy and got my ballot. Basically, it had three names...fuck it, here's a diagram-ish

Lynch = >

McCormmick = >

Deutch = >

You fill the space inbetween the arrow side and the equals side next to the name you wanted and vioula, you picked your guy.

Now my mother had told me that Ted Deutch is "worse than the devil himself," "he only talks about taxes, tax tax tax," "I'd sooner vote for death than Ted Deutch," "he's worse than Obama."

The idea that someone is worse than Obama in my mothers eyes is kinda like saying someone is more gay than Richard Simmons...it's just incomprehensible.

Anyways, the other two guys were Lynch and McCormick. Now Jim McCormick lives about 3 minutes from my house and has lived there forever. He puts up these amazing christmas light decorations every year that my dad used to take the family to. When I had a family. Anyways, McCormick was running as an independent, which gives him points in my book. However, I looked up his policy bio on his website and it was pretty much word for word the same as Lynch's. So unfortunately I came to the conclusion that I had to vote for Lynch because he was a Republican and we live in a 1.5 party system where there's no difference between the parties(I.E. they both spend absurd amounts of my money, be it welfare or war, and corporatism runs rampant).

So I voted for Lynch. I got my little sticker saying I voted, and I was all smiles. I yelled at my friend Mohammed(Go to bottom of page for my comments to Mo Mo about Ted Deutch) for being a liberal and then bet him 5 dollars my guy would win. In hindsight, that was a very stupid bet, this is south fucking Florida. But I had faith and what better way to show your faith in something than to put money on that thing succeeding.

Only...I wake up this morning and Ted Deutch won the election. With like, 62% of the vote. What the fuck is that! Don't they know this man is evil? I hate you old people! Fuck, go get a job or something! Quit relying on baby boomers to pay for you to live. Commit seppuku for christ's sake. WW2 is over and communism is dead, we don't need you anymore.

Anyways, I've learned a valuable lesson, Democracy is only fun when your side wins. It makes me wish we had proportional representation here in the US. However, the good news is, we get to vote for the same seat again this november, so maybe a miracle will happen. In the meantime, I'll just watch Glenn Beck. FUCK YOU OLD PEOPLE IN SOUTH FLORIDA! GO DIE!

A side note, I haven't had my own computer in like three months and counting, so sorry for the lack of posts.

Here's what I said about Ted Deutch to Mo Mo:

Ted Deutch is a statist boy lover who kicks babies and speeds through school zones for pleasure, that's all I'm saying. He also said that he sold his daughter into slavery to repent for being born wealthy and that he thinks black people are inferior and should therefore be tested and judged in the workplace and in schools on a different scale than white people. He also said that The Phantom Menace was his favorite starwars movie and that Clint Eastwood sucks. I'm just asking the tough questions here Mo Mo. ///// He also has a terroist fetish and openly supports Al Qaeda. And, this one time, he shit on his wife's stomach, and then made his other four wives eat it off her. I drew a presentation on this chalk board, see 8====>. Ted Deutch also burns books because he think only white people can read and that it's not fair. I'm so tired of being right all the time but while these communists are in charge I'm the only one who can save this country.