Watch the %&#$ out Obama, a wild Belgian appears!

As some of you may have heard...kidding kidding, BREAKING NEWS! EUROPE ELECTS PRESIDENT OF ALL EUROPE. PRESIDENT OF BELGIUM SELECTED. RESPONSE FROM OBAMA UNSURE. SELECTIVE SERVICE EXPECTED TO BE ANNOUNCED. "I TOLD YA'LL THIS WOULD HAPPEN!!!" SAYS W. BUSH. CHENEY DIES UPON HEARING THE NEWS. JOE BIDEN RELATIVELY CONFUSED. ISRAEL READIES NUCLEAR WEAPONS FOR USE. THE POPE FINALLY ADMITS HE DOESN'T REALLY HAVE ANY POWER ANYMORE, KILLS HIMSELF. ISLAM UNITES UNDER ONE GLOBAL FLAG! SERBIAN ASSASSINS POSITION THROUGHOUT EUROPE, READY TO STRIKE. WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO???



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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's true. European bureaucrats created a new mega bureaucratic position. The president of all Europe. If the position held any real meaning, I'd be hard pressed to say there isn't a new most powerful man in the world. However, the new president is this guy, from Belgium

As one Indian official said before the announcement: "If the EU chooses as its worldwide representative the prime minister of Belgium or Luxembourg I am not sure our leaders will have the time to meet him."

Besides the laughable fact that he happens to be from Belgium, I suspect the presidential position will have little to no power, at least at first. There's no way of knowing this because they haven't actually decided what the new president of Europe will actually do. They elected him, but have not decided his powers. This sounds terrible, this new guy won't even have to steal, plunder, and abuse power over centuries like our presidents, he might just be given it right now. Given Europe's history of love affairs with kings and dictators, I'd say there's a good chance this might actually be a relevant position once a non-belgian takes office. A good englishmen will have this position relevant and hated within his first few years in office.



Now I'm a small government guy, so the idea of a bunch of leaders from democratic countries electing a leader to represent the whole continent(without a single citizen getting to vote on the matter, mind you), scares the living Jesus out of me. I don't understand how this is a good thing for anyone. The interests of Cyprus are just not the same as Ireland, and vice versa. But then again you could say that for Alabama and New York. Regardless, this brings everyone one step closer to a world government. The United States has been doing it's best to police the world, and I guess Europe finally decided to man up. Give it 50 years and our President and Their president will be voting(publicly) on shit that goes down in Siam, I can hardly wait.


But I'm being negative, let's look at the positives of this.

-We're one step closer to Gundam 00 coming true.
-Wars on the continent of Europe will now be civil wars, not world wars, so 1) they won't be able to make fun of us anymore, and 2) the phrase Civil War in America scares people, so maybe we'll stay out of the next series of European Shenanigans.
-This is just one more target for radicals to assassinate.
-While playing CoD:MW2 online, you can shout to your European Faggot Enemies "All your presidents combined into one president still can't handle our president. Bitch."
-Belgium has a slightly better chance of not getting invaded for a few years.
-New conspiracy theories!(I'm telling you, wait 50 years and see how much power this position has!)
-Australia is no longer the only continent with a single ruling president or prime minister.